Control Issues

This has been a day of weirdness.
It began after lunch with finding an unopened bottle of SmartWater next to a drinking fountain at a doctor’s office. By itself, that’s a minor non sequitur. Something I could chuckle at and report on Facebook. Then, late in the afternoon, while on my way to a downtown appointment, I found myself behind a late-model car being driven by a man who was behaving even more weirdly than other Seattle drivers.
The elderly fellow was rolling slowly along in the second lane of northbound 99 on the Viaduct. I’m pretty sure he was hoping to change to the right lane, which becomes the only exit from 99 into downtown Seattle. However, every time he started to move to the right his windshield wipers switched on, leading to his jerking the car back into the second lane. Each time he returned to the second lane his windshield wipers switched off. After several aborted attempts, he ran out of room to make the lane change, so he continued north. He had not once used his turn signal. It was not raining.
I’d like to find this hilarious. I can’t because I realize how difficult it is for me to remember which dials on my stove control which burners and what the login password is on my computer. I’m not old, though that shouldn’t make a difference. I’m intelligent. I pay attention. Nonetheless, some things just don’t stick in my memory. My father was the same. The only way he could find his little brown car in a parking lot was to try his key in the doors of one car after another until he found a door that opened. But he wasn’t weird. Neither am I. I’m not that man who can’t figure out his turn signal lever.
Please let me laugh. I really want to laugh. What would Jesus do? What would John Stewart do?

Oct. 23, 2012

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