Ja, ja. Ich trage Google

In my email today–

“Jeg trenger din umiddelbare oppmerksomhet ON MY FORSLAG.
Jeg er administrerende direktør, fra den industrielle og Commercial Bank of China (ICBC). Jeg har en gjensidig virksomhet forslag som angår overføring av en stor sum penger til en utenlandsk konto, med din hjelp som en fremmed partner, som mottaker av midlene. alt om denne transaksjonen vil bli gjort lovlig uten problemer med noen økonomisk myndighet. Vennligst forsøke å observere ytterste skjønn i alle saker knyttet til dette problemet. Hvis du er interessert, kan du svare tilbake via min private e-postadresseskrevet under, og jeg vil gi deg mer informasjon om meg selv og prosjektet så snart jeg får positiv respons. 
Privat e-post: wyong@fieri.com”

     TRANSLATION (edited for readability)–

“I need your immediate attention ON MY PROPOSAL.
I am the CEO from the industrial and Commercial Bank of China (ICBC).  I have a mutual business proposal concerning the transfer, with your help, of a large amount of money to a foreign account, with a stranger or spouse as the beneficiary of the funds.  Everything about this transaction will be done legally without problems with any financial authority.  Please endeavor to observe the utmost discretion in all matters relating to this issue.  If you are interested, please reply back through my private e-mail, signed, and I will give you more information about myself and the project as soon as I receive a positive response.
Private e-mail: wyong@fieri.com”

My first question is, will this interfere with my ongoing business transactions in Kenya?  My second question is, how did they discover my hidden Norwegian heritage?  (My first and last names are Irish.)
I’ll reply, of course–but in German, not Norwegian.

“Nach Eingang der prüft 30.000 Deutsche Mark auf ein Konto werde ich in einem folgenden E-Mail zu bezeichnen, werde ich eine neue, sichere Lage, internationale Kontoguthaben für die Verarbeitung und Verteilung auf verschiedene Cayman Island Treuhandkonten erhalten zu etablieren.  Um Ihre Position vor Strafverfolgung zu schützen, werde ich darauf achten, dass Ihr Name und Ihre Bank aus allen offiziellen Dokumenten auszuschließen.   Ich werde stattdessen einen Vermittler etablieren Konto zugänglich Sie ein Pseudonym und das Passwort “Tahssa-mai”.  Mit dieser geschützten Account haben Sie sicheren Zugriff auf Ihre Anteil aller Finanztransaktionen.”

     TRANSLATION (edited for readability)–

“Upon verified receipt of 30,000 Deutsche Marks to an account I will designate in a following email, I will establish a new, secure account able to receive international deposits for processing and distribution to various Cayman Island trust accounts.  To protect your position from prosecution, I will be careful to exclude your and your bank’s name from all official documents.  I will instead establish an intermediary account accessible by you using a pseudonym and the password ‘Tahssa-mai’.  Using this protected account, you will have secure access to your share of all financial transactions.”

What’s interesting is the crook’s faith that Google Translate is effective in reeling a native speaker into an obvious scam. What’s really interesting is that a native speaker will fall for it.

From a Thai ad for donkey rides: “Would you like to ride on your own ass?”. Um, okay.


Feb, 2014


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